At Nisai Learning, we understand how worrying it feels when your child is unhappy or anxious about school. Parents often notice changes at home before teachers raise concerns. Early action matters because struggles at school can quickly affect confidence, mental health, and long-term progress. This guide explains what signs to look out for and the steps you can take to support your child.
5 signs your child might be struggling at school
Every child reacts differently when school becomes difficult. Some show clear signs, while others hide their worries. As a parent, paying attention to small changes at home can help you identify problems early. Here are five of the most common indicators to look out for:
1. Reluctance or refusal to attend school
This is often one of the first signs parents notice. Children might start complaining of headaches, stomach aches, or feeling sick before school. You may see panic or tears at the thought of leaving the house. In some cases, this becomes school refusal, where anxiety makes regular attendance impossible. While occasional nerves are normal, persistent patterns show that your child may need more support.
2. Changes in behaviour or mood
If your child becomes more irritable, withdrawn, or quick to anger, school stress may be the cause. Some children internalise their worries and appear unusually quiet, while others express frustration through disruptive behaviour at home or in the classroom. Both responses are signals that school is affecting their emotional wellbeing.
3. Falling grades or loss of interest in learning
A child who once enjoyed reading or took pride in their homework may suddenly avoid assignments or stop engaging in lessons. Falling behind academically often leads to frustration and lower self-esteem, which can create a cycle of avoidance. Loss of interest in learning is a clear sign that your child feels overwhelmed or unsupported in class.
4. Friendship issues
School is not only about lessons; it is also where children develop friendships. Arguments, frequent fallouts, or isolating themselves from peers can signal that your child is struggling socially. Some children may say they have no friends or feel left out. These issues affect confidence and can increase reluctance to attend school.
5. Teacher concerns
Teachers often spot difficulties early. Reports of unfinished work, loss of focus, or disruptive behaviour in class can be important indicators. If teachers share concerns, it is worth taking them seriously and working together to understand what is happening. Early communication with teachers can help you build a clearer picture of your child’s needs.
These signs do not always point to a serious problem, but they should not be ignored. They are often the first signals that your child requires extra help or a different approach to learning. To see how students with different challenges are supported in practice, read more about our Our Students.
How do school struggles affect a child’s mental health?
Struggling at school can have a significant impact on your child’s mental health. Anxiety, low self-esteem, or even depression can develop when children feel they cannot cope. This can create a cycle of school refusal, where the stress of going to school becomes overwhelming.
At Nisai, we believe education and wellbeing go hand in hand. Our dedicated Wellbeing services give children the space to build resilience, learn coping strategies, and regain confidence. This support ensures that academic learning is balanced with emotional care.
Why do some children struggle at school?
There is never one single reason why a child might struggle at school. For many families, it feels like a combination of factors that affect both learning and wellbeing. Understanding the cause is the first step towards finding the right support.
Special educational needs
Some children have special educational needs (SEN) such as dyslexia, autism, ADHD, or speech and language difficulties. These may go undiagnosed for years, meaning the child does not receive the adjustments they need in class. Without the right help, they can fall behind, lose confidence, and become anxious about attending school.
Health conditions or medical needs
Children with long-term health conditions may find it difficult to attend school every day. Medical appointments, fatigue, or recovery periods can mean frequent absences. Over time, this affects progress and can make it harder for them to reintegrate into a mainstream school timetable.
School anxiety, bullying, or social pressures
School anxiety is increasingly common. Children may worry about workload, exams, or friendships. Bullying – including online bullying – can also cause children to withdraw, avoid lessons, or refuse to attend altogether. When left unchecked, these pressures can affect both academic results and mental health.
Missed lessons and gaps in learning
Frequent absences, whether due to illness, anxiety, or family circumstances, can create gaps in knowledge. Once a child falls behind, it often becomes harder for them to catch up with the rest of the class. This cycle of missed lessons and lost confidence can quickly escalate.
Pressure from a fast-paced curriculum
Mainstream schools often follow strict schedules and large class sizes. While many children adapt, others find the fast-paced curriculum overwhelming. They may need more time to process information, smaller groups to feel comfortable, or a different approach altogether.
What can parents do if their child is struggling?
If you believe your child is having difficulties, there are clear steps you can take:
Talk to your child
Ask open questions about how they feel at school. Let them know you are listening and that it is safe to share their worries.
Speak with teachers
Arrange a meeting with your child’s teacher or head of year. Teachers see your child in a different environment and can provide insight into their learning and behaviour.
Get advice and guidance
Understanding your options reduces stress and helps you feel in control. Our Advice for Parents provides clear information on topics such as attendance, home education, and flexi schooling.
Explore flexible learning options
For some children, full-time mainstream schooling is not the right fit. Options such as part-time timetables, online learning, or SEND provision can make education more accessible. Learn how our Nisai Curriculum supports flexible pathways that match each child’s needs.
When should you seek additional educational support?
You should consider extra support if:
- Your child’s mental health is worsening because of school.
- School refusal or persistent absence has become a pattern.
- Teachers agree that your child is not making expected progress.
- You feel the current school environment cannot meet your child’s needs.
In these cases, it may be time to request an EHC needs assessment from your local authority. If approved, this can lead to an EHCP that sets out a clear support plan. To understand how we work with families and professionals, learn more about our Core Values.
How Nisai Learning supports families
At Nisai, we know that parents need both clarity and reassurance. We provide:
- Small class sizes led by qualified teachers who understand SEND support.
- Structured online lessons that can be adapted to your child’s timetable.
- Regular progress reports that keep you fully informed.
- Emotional and social support through our Wellbeing services.
- Collaboration with parents, schools, and local authorities to ensure consistent provision.
Our approach ensures your child has the right balance of academic support, wellbeing care, and flexible learning.
Take the next step if your child is struggling with mainstream school
If your child is showing signs of struggling at school, you don’t need to face it alone. Nisai Learning is here to help with flexible online learning, SEND support, and dedicated services for parents.
Learn more about Nisai Learning and get more Advice for Parents, or contact us today to discuss how we can support your child’s education and wellbeing.
